From the moment of your engagement to the second that last drop of champagne is sipped on your big day, you will make countless decisions about the tone, logistics and financing of your wedding. How many people should you invite? Where will the ceremony be held? What will the color scheme be? How much will all this cost?
Increasingly, brides and grooms are looking to bridal consultants to help make these decisions and plan what likely will be one of the most memorable days of their lives. A good bridal consultant knows how to walk clients through the myriad of details that go into planning a beautiful wedding. Consultants also help ease the stress of pre-wedding planning, allowing a bride and groom—and family members—to enjoy the wedding and cherish the memories.
Are Bridal Consultants the New Miss Manners?
So you want karaoke at the reception? Maybe even a mechanical bull? Afraid a wedding consultant will be too hoity-toity to go for it? Not to worry. A good bridal consultant lets the bride and groom set the wedding and reception’s tone and simply helps them realize their dream—even if Miss Manners might not approve. “It doesn’t matter how weird you think it might be,” says bridal consultant Katy Baker, of the Sacramento area-based Adagio Weddings and Events. “One couple asked if it was OK if they had karaoke at their wedding. I said, ‘Of course it is!’ It’s their day. It’s their time to express who they are.”
Baker is helping plan her daughter’s wedding and guess what she wants at the reception? A mechanical bull.
One of the first things a bridal consultant will do is meet with the bride and groom and perhaps their parents to talk about how they envision their wedding day.
“It’s basically understanding their personalities, their likes and, most importantly, their dislikes. I’m trying to fully grasp what they want their day to be like,” says wedding consultant Deanna Barba of the Sacramento area-based A Personal Touch Party Designs.
Baker makes a point of drawing grooms into the planning conversations, too. Often, grooms avoid discussing wedding day preferences, fearing it’s not macho to go there.
“If [a groom] is having a really hard time mentioning what he wants, I ask him to make a list of five things he always pictured as part of his wedding,” says Baker. “Then [I] make sure three of those things happen for him.”
At the first meeting, the wedding consultant will likely mention various catering and venue options. She’ll ask how much money the couple plans to spend on the event. She’ll give them a list of reputable vendors, such as caterers, invitation engravers, bakers, seamstresses and musicians. The consultant will make some suggestions, but leave it to the couple to make the final picks after her clients have met with vendors in person.
Bridal consultants also frequently give couples a timeline with tasks that need to be completed by specific dates before the wedding. Timeline tasks can range from 18 months to three months in advance of a wedding day, or sometimes less, depending on how early the couple hired the consultant for help.
Give Up the Idea of a Perfect Wedding
Often, wedding planners tell clients to give up the notion that their wedding will go off without a hitch. There will always be minor problems. If you accept that, you have more fun and are more relaxed.“Some of these brides have dreamed their entire lives about the perfect wedding and if any little thing happens—a bobby pin falls out of her hair—she goes through the roof,” says Baker. “Bring your expectations down so you can enjoy your day . . . If you have a perfect wedding, you have no stories to tell your children.”
Hiring a wedding planner can be a hedge against having huge problems at a wedding, or even a string of little ones, planners say.
But wedding consultants do more than squelch fires. They also bring oodles of creative ideas for the wedding to the bride and groom’s attention. Consultants tell couples of venues they might not know about, and have ideas for setting up the reception that a bride and groom may never have considered. They think of details that others may not, such as whether the draperies in the reception hall will clash with the bridesmaids’ dresses. And if they do, is there a way to change the lighting so it is not so apparent? The wedding planner will remind the bridesmaids to wear flats if it is an outdoor wedding on unpredictable terrain.
“It’s our job. We research it. We are always on top of the latest trends,” says Barba.
Will a Consultant Cost More Than the Reception?
Wedding planners usually offer several types of consultancy packages. The full package typically includes having the consultant work with the couple from start to finish. Initially, she’ll help the couple choose and book the venue, caterers, entertainment and other vendors. She will often go with the couple to meet vendors, go to dress fittings and ensure vendors are paid on time. She’ll help orchestrate the rehearsal and attend the wedding, ensuring all goes as planned.The cost for a full-service package can either be a percentage of the total cost of the wedding, or a flat fee. Both vary from consultant to consultant. Consultant Baker charges $3,000 for a full-service package and provides other packages, too. Barba charges a percentage that she declined to state, but says that most professionals charge between 10 and 20 percent of the total wedding cost. (Weddings in Sacramento County cost, on average, about $30,700, according to the 2007 estimate from The 2006 Wedding Report for Sacramento County.)
Another option is to employ a bridal consultant for “week of” wedding services. During the week of the wedding, the consultant will oversee the rehearsal, ensure final vendor bills are paid and oversee the actual wedding day. For example, Baker charges $1,000 for “week of” wedding services. She also has an “in-between” package, helping couples with some vendor selection and other services, in addition to “week of” activities. That package is $2,000.
Is My Bridal Consultant the Real Deal?
There are many reputable organizations that can help you find a qualified bridal consultant. The Association of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants (acpwc.com), the Sacramento-based Association for Wedding Professionals International (afwpi.com) and other organizations such as the Association of Bridal Consultants (bridalassn.com) all offer referrals for qualified planners.Word of mouth also is a good way to find a planner who fits your needs. But look for professional membership or certification, or you could end up with someone inexperienced.
The Pros and Cons of Hiring a Wedding Consultant
Not sure if you should go with a wedding consultant? Wondering if you have the money or patience to allow someone else to coordinate the major event?Answers to these questions aren’t always clear. They jury is out as to whether a bridal consultant adds to the wedding expense or helps control costs. Some bridal consultants swear they earn their fee saving couples money by passing along cost-saving tips (such as renting, not buying, your gown) and by hooking couples up with decently priced vendors. Other consultants wouldn’t claim their services cut costs, but rather add to the cost of a very well organized, smooth event.
Another factor to weigh is how elaborate your nuptials will be. Are you planning a small affair with a sit-down dinner at a restaurant? You may not need a professional planner. Are you planning a huge affair with 250 to 300 guests outdoors in a tent? That may require some help.
Realistically, a bride needs to consider if she—or her mother—is too much of a control freak to let someone else orchestrate a wedding. Only the bride and her family know the answer to that question. Bridal consultants say they are adept at handling pushy brides and overbearing bridal moms, but sometimes a personality may be so strong that it is not worth the hassle of bringing another personality into the planning process.
But in today’s society where many brides and their mothers work, some couples may find it quite helpful to hire a professional to help plan such a special event.
